Always Knew
2008/08/02 @ 2:28 PM

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All this time, I always knew.

No more blind eyes, blank spots or pink pokka dots. It is staring right in my face so how can I not see? The glaring witness I've become, skeptical and unfeeling. I always knew it you will say the same old things. Again and again. Again and again.

It's so much easier to communicate without talking. So much easier to understand and quietly withstand. But no, my alter-ego exists and grows and together the entity call "me" becomes darker. More real, more insane, more skeptical, and sadly, more mature in a twisted and unknown way.
I can't even begin to define myself but it is ok. At least I'm not blind to my faults, not blind to my lies, not blind to the gritty details that makes life restless.

But I'm ok and I knew all this will come from you someday. Like salt water to ulcers. It hurts but it will heal. Coz I'm stronger than I am yesterday, clearer in what I want. Those were not my words but people who choose to believe in me and love me for all my terrible flaws and character imperfections. And even if you don't, there is no love lost. I still love you and I know you do because someone did that for me all this time.